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About Us

Justin

During the infamous class, Justin was a Sophomore in Mechanical Engineering. He worked at a local bookstore in the magazine department, a fact that he never mentioned in class even when we spent a week discussing magazines. It was a Print Media in Society class, after all. It's funny... he had never been ashamed of his job before. Each morning before the class he would buy a Dr. Pepper in a 20oz plastic bottle. At the end of class, he would take the notes he had copiously written, roll them up, and slide them into the then-empty Dr. Pepper bottle. As Justin left the classroom, he would ceremoniously drop the bottle into the trashcan by the door.

His official classification is now Junior, but technically he's a Freshman because he switched majors. You see, his brain was numbed so much by his excruciating boredom during the class that he is no longer able to handle the übergeek work involved in Mechanical Engineering, but he can handle the minor geek work involved in getting a 2-year degree in Information Technology.

Justin's aversion to the bookstore became so great after the Print Media class that he quit his job. His parents kicked him out of the house for not being able to pay his share of the rent and for abandoning his future career as an engineer. Justin now lives, for free, in an 8x10 climate-controlled room in the mini-storage facility where he works.

Laurie

During the class, Laurie was registered as a graduate student taking a semester for personal enrichment. She had just graduated with a Sociology degree in the Fall, and still wanted to take a few more classes before heading off to "real" graduate school.

In her own way, Laurie was even geekier than Justin.

Laurie worked in the paperback department at the same bookstore with Justin. Revealing her inner teacher's pet, she made several comments in class that were decipherable only to those who were 'in the know' about books. These comments endeared the professor to Laurie, and they eventually began to have an affair. The other students caught on when both the prof and Laurie were late for class, and a cry of "What's my name?!" and its answering call, "Laurie!" echoed down the hall from the prof's office.

Their relationship ended shortly after that, but Laurie did manage to secure A's for herself, Justin and Michael. She now has no more ambition to attend graduate school. She switched to the children's department in the bookstore after the class, but even that was too much for her and today she is unemployed, keeping house for her mother.

Michael

In that fateful semester, Michael was a Junior in Sociology. He worked at a ghettoish sportswear store at the "bad" end of the mall. The only exciting thing that ever happened there, excepting the occasional stoned stoplifter, was a sighting of the rare "afro-mullet." Remember, readers, we are in the South.

During class every Tuesday and Thursday morning, while Justin fondled his übergeek graphing calculator and Laurie batted her eyelashes at the professor, Michael drew caricatures of people in the classroom. His eye was caught by a young woman who became fondly known to us as "Hot Pentecostal Chick." Her long hair, denim skirt, and clean face captivated Michael, and soon he and "Hot Pentecostal Chick" began dating.

"Hot Pentecostal Chick" helped Michael work through his post-class trauma. Their whirlwind romance culminated in a wedding in the quad a week after finals were over. The ghettoish sportswear store went out of business and Michael went to work for "Hot Pentecostal Chick"'s "Old Pentecostal Dad." Michael and "Hot Pentecostal Chick" are expecting a baby in March. He or she will be named, "Cute Pentecostal Baby."